Wow, it's been a while. This always happens to my blogs, but whatever.
Quick update on my life: Sat for the Bar Exam in July, which was as much fun as it sounds. I've been trying to make up for 10 weeks of unhappiness studying for the bar, so I'm going to NYC this weekend for my brother's 15th birthday, just signed up for a weekend street hockey league in Arlington, and Marie and I are taking a trip to Jamaica to celebrate being done with the bar and our 4th anniversary. Still workin on the job thing, but hope springs eternal.
Now to the ostensible purpose for the post: During the Fall semester of 3L year, I took a class in Decedent Estates (Wills and Trusts). Despite my less than stellar grade in the class, I had an absolute blast because I came up with a whole bunch of really fun ways to mess with my potential beneficiaries and the world at large. So, with thanks to Meredith, who helped keep my sanity intact during the class (and in the order I thought them up) here goes.
1. Spite Marriage. Normally, if you die without a will, your stuff passes to your relatives based on how closely related they are to you. However, in case you don't like your relatives, you can marry someone to spite those ungrateful bastards. Your wife, assuming you don't have any kids from prior marriages, will take the whole estate under intestacy (lack of will-ness). Therefore, if you don't like your relatives, get married before you die.
2. Hologramic wills. My DE prof spent a lot of time babbling on about holographic wills, which are unwitnessed wills written by the deceased. This made me thing that the hologramic will is the next logical step. Picture, if you will, a conference room full of the heirs of the deceased. In rolls a small silver and blue droid who projects an image of you giving your last will and testament above the coffee table. Epic.
3. Multiple wills. 10 valid wills, no dates. Put them all in the same place to be found after death, and watch the fun begin.
4. The Price is Right. As you've got a bit of wiggle room with who you give your stuff to, why not have fun with it? Bequeath every possession of yours to the beneficiary who most closely guesses the actual retail price of said possession (without going over, of course).
5. Bequeath stuff you don't have. In DE, Ademption occurs when you will something that you no longer have. For example, you bequeath your house, but sell it before you die; the gift will adeem, meaning that it will just go away. My thought is: why not will things you think you MIGHT have when you die. I dunno about you, but I want to make sure my hovercraft goes to someone, regardless of the eels.
6. Edible wills. In most states, you can revoke your will by any physical act that shows you want to revoke. This means ripping, burning, obliterating, etc. Why not revoke your will by nomming it? Watching Marcel's Quantum Kitchen has shown me that there are ways to make edible paper, so why not write your will on it? It'll make destroying it that much more satisfying.
7. Robots. One of the prerequisites to making a valid will is that you know "the natural objects of your bounty." But what if your bounty should go to a robot? If there is a robot deserving of my inheritance, the robot will get it, and anyone who doesn't like it can bite my shiny metal ass.
8. Mayhem trusts. In general, if you want to have a trust that is non-charitable, it can last for 21 years unless it is fervently against public policy. But irritating people isn't against public policy, so I'm thinking a trust for street mimes, or for prank calling my enemies.
9. Post-it notes. Whatever you do, do it on post-it notes. Clarify your trust with post-it notes on the document, have your will refer to an outside "document" made up of post-its, or write your will on one. 3M will be so proud.
10. Support trusts. You can create a trust for the support of a person, which normally means that they get to continue living the style of life to which they are accustomed. I'm thinkin we need a support trust that either involves holding my beneficiaries up in the air or for a lifetime of ladies undergarments. The gift that keeps on giving.
May all your hits be crits,
B
